For some reason, I can't control the order of these, so watch out for a dimpled chad. <g> |
Goodbye Themestream Scattered strangers, bound into a single breath by loneliness shared, frantically skimming the yellow Pages, looking for what is not there, then dialing numbers at random. Gestalt, suddenly blasted back into it's pieces, wanders back alleys and wonders who it is. Like threads suddenly freed from their fabric, we seek the safety of a new piece of cloth. Change has always been one of my favorite poetic themes. The notion of being unable to step into the same river twice has always been a source of contemplation. The problem is, time after time, the river seems to be the same. And then suddenly it isn't. It's like when an old song comes on the radio and hearkens me back to a former me. It provides a sense of place I was not in touch with when the song originally played. Often, such change takes place gradually, and it requires such a moment of revelation to make me realize that it is, in fact, a new me standing in a new river. But sometimes, like now, the sense of cusp is sharp and cutting. It's an interesting dilemma, a truism that life exists only in the 'now' yet our entire sense of self comes from continuity and context. Themestream was an intense experience that consumed vast quantities of time. I suspect that, like the song, it will be the symbol that defines this most recent phase of my life. While there are some griefs that stand like granite taking a lifetime of time's droplets to be worn away, I suspect we will all recover quickly, that in a matter of days or weeks, TS will be a fond (or not so fond) memory. I sense that some have already left it behind and are pouring energy into new endeavors. I also suspect that for some, the following few weeks after the 'funeral high' will hold a sense of emptiness and invisibility. Web pages do not seem to call forth the kind of ongoing comments stream that we found on TS. But we, too, will eventually move on. And while there are a flood of intentions to somehow hold the community together, I see them as akin to that last day of camp where everyone is signing autograph books and promising to write. Still, my bet is that each of us will come away from this experience with at least a few new friends, relationships that will move beyond the sharing of work into a deeper encounter. I will probably continue to post a weekly article to this site simply because TS showed me how much I enjoy writing them. I have so many in the works, so much to say. Whether people continue to read them is something I can only hope for. As you can see, I have included a TS directory that will enable us to easily find one another, to check in now and then. I plan to write about many different things and hope to in some way create another experience of community for myself here on this site. I love the exchange of ideas. Yet I realize in these busy times that such a thing is not easy and must be left to the gods. I remember a guy on the radio in a city where I once lived had a feature of 'last times'. He would throw out questions. When was the last time you were read a bedtime story? When was the last time you flew down a hill on a Flexible Flyer? When was the last time you pulled an all-nighter? Most of our 'last times' are not realized as they occur. Some are. This is the last article about Themestream I will ever write. |
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